Beneath this is the belief that signaling interest also signals low value. I.e. “girls don’t want a guy if they know they can have him.” This gets justified through personal experience, say a bad breakup, and often evolutionary psychology type stuff. You can find social circle influencer maxxers like Dan Bilzerian or Michael Sartain or many other dating guru types completely convinced this is true.

I think the real belief below “girls don’t want a guy if they know they can have him” isn’t a bad breakup experience, or some evolutionary psychology type stuff; it’s low self-esteem. If you believe signaling interest equates to signaling low value, then you’re believing that everyone interested in you is low value. You can’t imagine that someone you like would actually like you back. Since you can’t imagine it, you build a circle of low quality chaser-chasee on-off relationships where you risk nothing, because you never signal interest.

I’m not saying don’t host events, don’t make friends with women, or not to do things that would make you more attractive. Improve your environment. Become attractive; people should be attractive. I’m saying it’s a mistake to do these “social circle game” things to avoid rejection. Sure, a girl might not be into you solely because you’re into her (i.e. she can’t imagine someone liking her), but she might not be into you for a million other reasons. Or she just might not be into you. Welcome to life.

Posting flares my insecurities. My confidence diminishes. Who am I to publicly post things? Is it moral to post? Some grew up learning that getting attention feels great. But I learned that it’s only okay to takes someone’s attention if I have an airtight reason why.

I’ll never have an airtight reason. Posting is one of my current greatest fears. In line with the rest of my life, if I fear it, I’m gonna do it.