One of men’s dating advice out there is to do events and cultivate a social circle of attractive women. The theory being, “girls want the guy other girls want.” Creating this social circle is about creating a context where you’re perceived as high status.
Beneath this is the belief that signaling interest also signals low value. I.e. “girls don’t want a guy if they know they can have him.” This gets justified through personal experience, say a bad breakup, and often evolutionary psychology type stuff. You can find social circle influencer maxxers like Dan Bilzerian or Michael Sartain or many other dating guru types completely convinced this is true.
I think the real belief below “girls don’t want a guy if they know they can have him” isn’t a bad breakup experience, or some evolutionary psychology type stuff; it’s low self-esteem. If you believe signaling interest equates to signaling low value, then you’re believing that everyone interested in you is low value. You can’t imagine that someone you like would actually like you back. Since you can’t imagine it, you build a circle of low quality chaser-chasee on-off relationships where you risk nothing, because you never signal interest.
I’m not saying don’t host events, don’t make friends with women, or not to do things that would make you more attractive. Improve your environment. Become attractive; people should be attractive. I’m saying it’s a mistake to do these “social circle game” things to avoid rejection. Sure, a girl might not be into you solely because you’re into her (i.e. she can’t imagine someone liking her), but she might not be into you for a million other reasons. Or she just might not be into you. Welcome to life.